He was born in Birmingham, Michigan to Judith M., a writer and magazine editor, and Wayne M. Spade, a sales representative. His father moved the family to Scottsdale, Arizona, but abandoned them not long afterwards. His mother eventually remarried, but David's stepfather committed suicide in 1981 (David was 17 years old at the time). David's brothers are Bryan and Andy Spade; Andy Spade is the husband of designer Kate Spade and CEO of Kate Spade New York.

Spade was brighter than his second-grade classmates, and took advanced math and reading. "I was a somewhat bright child, which led to different sorts of problems. In second grade, I moved up to fourth grade math and reading. There was an option to skip a grade but I was so tiny and microscopic that my mom was, like, 'He has enough [expletive] now, let's not make his life totally terrible.' I stayed in my grade but alienated everyone by being, like, 'brainiac."[citation needed]

Spade graduated from Saguaro High School in